Sleep

Mood Rating: 7/10

Last night proved that I need the sleeping pills I've been prescribed. I was really tired, so I went to bed early and took a sleeping tablet just beforehand. I tossed and turned, and my mind raced, before the pill kicked in. Insomnia is a side effect of Aripirazole. I'm seeing my pdoc in 12 days' time, so I'm hoping that he'll prescribe me some more, otherwise I don't know what I'll do. As it is, the sleeping tablets wear off by around 6am, and the Aripiprazole wakes me up. I'm certainly in a healthy sleep routine now, even if it is aided.

I'm now taking 300mg of Venlafaxine and 30mg of Aripiprazole daily. I'm also on Metformin for PCOS, and of course there's the sleeping pills. I'd like to think that I'll one day be free from medication, but it's doubtful.

It's absolutely freezing cold here at the moment. Everywhere has run out of house coal, so we've had to resort to using some synthetic stuff, which just doesn't produce the heat of normal coal. I've also got the heating on, but I'm still cold. It snowed for about 24 hours yesterday, and now the snow's just compacted into thick ice - it's treacherous. The forecast is for more snow from tomorrow (Friday) until Sunday, which is a lot for us here in the south of the UK. Apparently, this is the coldest winter we've had in 30 years. My poor dog is shivering at the moment - best go and cover her up.

Employment Support Allowance Nightmare

Mood Rating: 6/10

I just tried to fill out the new Employment Support Allowance booklet (yes, booklet!), but it's reduced me to tears. They want to know everything but your blood type. I've got to send in proof of address, proof of earnings, bank statements, savings statements (of which I have none), birth certificate, National Insurance card (of which I've lost), my husband's last few payslips, etc, etc. I can't believe that the government have made this so difficult! In the grand scheme of things, I have mild mental health problems, but even I can't complete this stupid form! It's a complete joke. On top of that, I'm bound to be asked to go for the medical, too. The thought of having to go out to a strange place is terrifying.

I guess there's a plus side: my GP decided (on her own) to sign me off until February 2010. At least I haven't got to worry about work for another few weeks.

I feel absolutely shite today now. I feel pathetic - I can't even fill in a form. To top it off, my mum doesn't think she'll make it round today. I could really do with the company right now, but I don't want to tell her that.