Under the Weather
Mood Rating: 5-6/10
Feeling a little off today. I'm really tired and I have no energy. I'm not feeling depressed as such, but I'm definitely below par.
Went to the Acre Day Hospital yesterday to be assessed for suitability. I was only there about 20 minutes to half an hour, but I'm not keen on returning. There was nothing wrong with place, and the people seemed okay, but I just don't think it's for me. I think that joining a group would make me dwell on things more than if I were left to my own devices. The guy I met with thinks that my care coordinator will urge me to join, but I'm going to be strong and refuse. Like most people, even though I suffer with mental illness, I've got this preconceived idea of what the people would be like. It was kind of backed up by the guy I met with when he said that I may be, "A little too advanced," for the groups, meaning that I'm quite self-sufficient, I'm holding down a job, etc. Being stuck with people who are not working and are very ill would just drag me down. I don't doubt that this kind of group therapy works for some people, but it's just not my thing.
Anyway, my case is being handed back to the care coordinator tomorrow morning. I think that I'll be pretty much left to deal with things alone after that as I've progressed very well in such a short period of time. This suits me just fine at the moment, and it's nice to know that there is help out there should things go horribly wrong again. I don't think that they will, though. I'm not considering suicide at all right now, in fact, I'm barely thinking of it at all. I'm taking every day as it comes, which is really great. I'm not stressing about work like I have done, and I'm not so bad about being at home all the time. I would like to get out more, but money is a bit tight right now.
I still haven't heard any more about the promotion at work, but as I've said, I'm not very hopeful. I do worry a little that if I got the job, the stress may affect me, but I think I'd cope. It would mean that my husband and I could move house. I think our current home holds a lot of bad history for me. Since we've been here I've had to leave formal work due to panic attacks, I found my husband chatting up women online, I had an operation, I found that hubby had run up £13K worth of debt, he got the push from his old job, etc, etc. There are very few happy memories. I think I need a real change of scenery.
Feeling a little off today. I'm really tired and I have no energy. I'm not feeling depressed as such, but I'm definitely below par.
Went to the Acre Day Hospital yesterday to be assessed for suitability. I was only there about 20 minutes to half an hour, but I'm not keen on returning. There was nothing wrong with place, and the people seemed okay, but I just don't think it's for me. I think that joining a group would make me dwell on things more than if I were left to my own devices. The guy I met with thinks that my care coordinator will urge me to join, but I'm going to be strong and refuse. Like most people, even though I suffer with mental illness, I've got this preconceived idea of what the people would be like. It was kind of backed up by the guy I met with when he said that I may be, "A little too advanced," for the groups, meaning that I'm quite self-sufficient, I'm holding down a job, etc. Being stuck with people who are not working and are very ill would just drag me down. I don't doubt that this kind of group therapy works for some people, but it's just not my thing.
Anyway, my case is being handed back to the care coordinator tomorrow morning. I think that I'll be pretty much left to deal with things alone after that as I've progressed very well in such a short period of time. This suits me just fine at the moment, and it's nice to know that there is help out there should things go horribly wrong again. I don't think that they will, though. I'm not considering suicide at all right now, in fact, I'm barely thinking of it at all. I'm taking every day as it comes, which is really great. I'm not stressing about work like I have done, and I'm not so bad about being at home all the time. I would like to get out more, but money is a bit tight right now.
I still haven't heard any more about the promotion at work, but as I've said, I'm not very hopeful. I do worry a little that if I got the job, the stress may affect me, but I think I'd cope. It would mean that my husband and I could move house. I think our current home holds a lot of bad history for me. Since we've been here I've had to leave formal work due to panic attacks, I found my husband chatting up women online, I had an operation, I found that hubby had run up £13K worth of debt, he got the push from his old job, etc, etc. There are very few happy memories. I think I need a real change of scenery.
posted by Bipolar Bear at 11:43 am
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