Feeling Better
Mood Rating: 8/10
The title says it all, really. I'm feeling much better - I've even negotiated with the Crisis Team so that they'll only phone on Sunday, so I won't be seeing them until next week. I wanted to see how I would handle the weekend on my own. But, whatever the weekend brings, I am feeling positive.
I'm off out with my brother's girlfriend this evening. I'm going to meet my husband from work for a drink, then the girlfriend will me us a bit later. We're on the guest list of a local nightclub, too - I haven't been clubbing for about 7 years. This is quite a big hurdle for me because of my social phobia, but I'm going to really force myself to enjoy it. The girlfriend knows a lot of people in there anyway, so if it does prove to be a bit much, I can probably leave.
Bree visited again yesterday. We went over everything we'd spoken about on Tuesday, and she's going to forward a copy of her write-up to my pdoc, GP, social worker and the Crisis Team. Obviously, there are things in there that I don't want my husband to see, but I doubt he'll get the opportunity to see it. I'm being sent a copy, so I might give that to a friend to look after.
I told Bree that I was astounded that I found I wasn't over the rape and also that I was surprised to see a pattern of betrayal in my past. I think it's because I trust people too readily; I always want to see the good in people, and it hits me really hard when they don't come through with the goods.
Bree is recommending that I be put on the list for therapy as I've reacted so well to this episode and I've tried hard to help myself. She feels that I'd get a lot out of therapy. However, when I saw my pdoc, he said that therapy is basically non-existent on the NHS. I'd probably hear from them in 18 months, if at all. Maybe when I've started working properly again I could pay for some therapy myself.
Another positive thing has happened: I'm being put forward for a promotion at work. I registered my interest in the position about a year ago, but this is the first time a position has become available. I'm not very confident that I'll get it, though. There are around 15 of us going for it, and I know for a fact that there are people who are far more literate than myself in the group. I may have to rely on the fact that I'm good at my job AND that I'm very helpful to others if they have a problem. If I got the position, it could mean travelling to London every month for a meeting, but then again, they may well begin having meetings via web cam, apparently. I really do want the job. At the moment, my wages are up and down with my moods, but by getting this job, I could relax a little more as it's salaried. It'd be fantastic.
Anyhoo, here's to a good weekend.
The title says it all, really. I'm feeling much better - I've even negotiated with the Crisis Team so that they'll only phone on Sunday, so I won't be seeing them until next week. I wanted to see how I would handle the weekend on my own. But, whatever the weekend brings, I am feeling positive.
I'm off out with my brother's girlfriend this evening. I'm going to meet my husband from work for a drink, then the girlfriend will me us a bit later. We're on the guest list of a local nightclub, too - I haven't been clubbing for about 7 years. This is quite a big hurdle for me because of my social phobia, but I'm going to really force myself to enjoy it. The girlfriend knows a lot of people in there anyway, so if it does prove to be a bit much, I can probably leave.
Bree visited again yesterday. We went over everything we'd spoken about on Tuesday, and she's going to forward a copy of her write-up to my pdoc, GP, social worker and the Crisis Team. Obviously, there are things in there that I don't want my husband to see, but I doubt he'll get the opportunity to see it. I'm being sent a copy, so I might give that to a friend to look after.
I told Bree that I was astounded that I found I wasn't over the rape and also that I was surprised to see a pattern of betrayal in my past. I think it's because I trust people too readily; I always want to see the good in people, and it hits me really hard when they don't come through with the goods.
Bree is recommending that I be put on the list for therapy as I've reacted so well to this episode and I've tried hard to help myself. She feels that I'd get a lot out of therapy. However, when I saw my pdoc, he said that therapy is basically non-existent on the NHS. I'd probably hear from them in 18 months, if at all. Maybe when I've started working properly again I could pay for some therapy myself.
Another positive thing has happened: I'm being put forward for a promotion at work. I registered my interest in the position about a year ago, but this is the first time a position has become available. I'm not very confident that I'll get it, though. There are around 15 of us going for it, and I know for a fact that there are people who are far more literate than myself in the group. I may have to rely on the fact that I'm good at my job AND that I'm very helpful to others if they have a problem. If I got the position, it could mean travelling to London every month for a meeting, but then again, they may well begin having meetings via web cam, apparently. I really do want the job. At the moment, my wages are up and down with my moods, but by getting this job, I could relax a little more as it's salaried. It'd be fantastic.
Anyhoo, here's to a good weekend.
posted by Bipolar Bear at 8:43 am
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