Low Again
Mood Rating: 3/10
What a week. Saw the psychiatrist (pdoc) on Tuesday as planned. It went okay, I guess. I'm going to be started on an anti-psychotic/mood stabiliser caller Olanzipan as soon as I've had [another] ECG and bloods. This one has some great side effects too, mainly weight gain (sigh). However, the anti-depressants that I'm on cause that anyway, and he wants me off of them, so hopefully we may be able to balance it out.
I've also been assigned a CPN called Lorna. She phoned on Thursday and she's coming to see me on Monday. I know I'm gonna be a total wreck.
Went out with a friend for a drink last night - turned into many :0) But it was good. Once I was drunk, I could talk without crying. Got a lot off of my chest, as he's the only one who knows the whole truth about most things. Funnily enough, I think I may have discovered a reason for my social phobia.
However, having a good night out if one thing, and I was pretty high today: made hubby and I a lovely lunch, tidied up, did the kitchen, but now I've taken the inevitable nosedive again. Hubby took me down the beach for a walk for an hour or so, but it's the whole coming home thing - it's just so depressing. I really hate it. I'd prefer to wander in the freezing cold all night long than to come home when I feel down. I just want out.
Now I've got the weekend to look forward to. Starting the weekend off feeling like this is never good; I'm dreading it now. Hubby's off out tomorrow, so I guess I'll clean or just mosey around the Net a lot.
I was really positive just after the appointment with the pdoc, but now I'm back to normal. I just want to cease to exist. Fucking life!
What a week. Saw the psychiatrist (pdoc) on Tuesday as planned. It went okay, I guess. I'm going to be started on an anti-psychotic/mood stabiliser caller Olanzipan as soon as I've had [another] ECG and bloods. This one has some great side effects too, mainly weight gain (sigh). However, the anti-depressants that I'm on cause that anyway, and he wants me off of them, so hopefully we may be able to balance it out.
I've also been assigned a CPN called Lorna. She phoned on Thursday and she's coming to see me on Monday. I know I'm gonna be a total wreck.
Went out with a friend for a drink last night - turned into many :0) But it was good. Once I was drunk, I could talk without crying. Got a lot off of my chest, as he's the only one who knows the whole truth about most things. Funnily enough, I think I may have discovered a reason for my social phobia.
However, having a good night out if one thing, and I was pretty high today: made hubby and I a lovely lunch, tidied up, did the kitchen, but now I've taken the inevitable nosedive again. Hubby took me down the beach for a walk for an hour or so, but it's the whole coming home thing - it's just so depressing. I really hate it. I'd prefer to wander in the freezing cold all night long than to come home when I feel down. I just want out.
Now I've got the weekend to look forward to. Starting the weekend off feeling like this is never good; I'm dreading it now. Hubby's off out tomorrow, so I guess I'll clean or just mosey around the Net a lot.
I was really positive just after the appointment with the pdoc, but now I'm back to normal. I just want to cease to exist. Fucking life!
posted by Bipolar Bear at 8:38 pm
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