Feeling Squiffy

I'm not sure if I'm on a downward spiral or not, but I've been tired all day and I haven't been able to get much work done, which is not a lot different from most of this week. My train of thought has been all over the place today. In this kind of mood, I can make odd plans. It's really hard to explain, but I dream up things that probably wouldn't occur to a 'normal' person.

I ended up back in bed this afternoon and I've just woken up. I don't feel much better. I need to work this evening, so I can only hope that I'll feel better soon.

My kitchen needs cleaning, and I should really be thinking about getting some dinner on, but I just can't manage it today. I'm physically capable, I guess, but I'm not mentally. My husband came home for lunch today and I made toasted cheese sandwiches, but I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I was more on autopilot than anything else. It's times like this when I might burn myself or worse.

Where have all these symptoms come from? Since being diagnosed in August 2006, I've just got worse and worse. I can't wait for my appointment with the mental health centre next month. I really should go to the doctor before then, but the GP I built up a rapport with has left, and I just can't face getting to know someone else.

I must sound so pathetic. In fact, I am pathetic. I hate being this way.